My earlier research work with Fijian fathers showed how these pressures continue across the life course. Fathers often wanted closer relationships with their children but felt unprepared to show affection, having inherited models of parenting built on silence, discipline and emotional distance. Their reflections revealed how the emotional restrictions placed on boys do not disappear with age. Instead, they impact men’s relationships, their sense of responsibility, and their ability to support the next generation.
These findings matter for reasons that go far beyond school dynamics or household relationships. Pacific gender policy frameworks, including those guiding major development partners, have rightly focused on the urgent challenges facing women and girls. These efforts are essential and must continue. However, the near-exclusive work with women and girls has created a structural blind spot. Masculine norms – and the everyday cultures that shape the behaviour of boys and men – receive far less attention.
Efforts to include men and boys in gender programming often position them as allies. When they are discussed, it is often through the narrow lens of violence prevention, with terms such as toxic masculinity used as catchphrases. These framings rarely lead to meaningful change because they rely on concepts developed in Western contexts rather than on locally grounded, cultural understandings of how boys and men come to understand, negotiate, and embody masculinity in Pacific communities. Development agencies need to support Pacific‑led approaches grounded in the cultural, religious and moral frameworks that shape their daily lives.
In Fiji, there have been public debates about establishing a men’s department to address issues such as drug abuse and domestic violence. Feminist organisations opposed the proposal, but many in the wider public backed the idea of providing some form of support for men. This tension reflects a broader regional challenge. Communities recognise that boys and men need support, yet there is limited research to guide what that support should look like. Without evidence drawn from boys’ and men’s own experiences, gender programming risks misdiagnosis and overlooking the social realities that inform behaviour. The norms that harm women and girls are often the same norms that restrict boys’ emotional expression, frame their ideas of masculinity and gender roles, influence men’s parenting practices, and ultimately affect the wellbeing of families.
Working with boys and men is not a diversion from gender equality. It is essential for building the kinds of relationships and communities needed for long-term social and development outcomes. Expanding research and development work in this area is crucial, not only to support boys and men themselves but to build a fuller and more honest foundation for gender equality in the region. The two approaches are not mutually exclusive. Women and girls continue to face systemic inequality and gender-based violence, and men and boys need targeted support, not because they are oppressed, but because they are socialised into a model of masculinity that is harming them and others.